Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
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why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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