Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just want to make out with him forever
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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