You smell like stripper and shame
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize