Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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