I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
