You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
