Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
