I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
