we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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