Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
