i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
