party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
