you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
