when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
