belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
