You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
