So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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