when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
