I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
