i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
