i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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