Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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