What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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