The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
