Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
