How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Say something about gay babies.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
