If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
