She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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