i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
