You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
