No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
