so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize