last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
