He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
