im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
