Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
