college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
