She's JV to your varsity
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
