My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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