Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
