Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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