Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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