I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize