I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize