They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
