i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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