She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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