hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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