I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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