I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am naked and annoyed.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
