i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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