Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize