i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I enjoy the company of your penis
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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