yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
