Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
