Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
