Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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