at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
