OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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