people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
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You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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